TLDR at bottom
I am once again at odds with myself, and how I live.
Physical Health
With my upcoming move, my roommate and I have made it our goals to lose weight, get in shape, and live healthier lifestyles. I have been living around people who actively destroy their health, for the sake of feederism, and my lifestyle has adjusted to that over the past two years. I have gained 75lbs since moving here.
As of today, Aug 4th 2024, I am no longer eating fast food, drinking sugared drinks, or intaking caffiene. I am working my way through the last of my empty calorie snacks slowly, and will cease their purchase in the future. I am walking daily, and intaking as much water as I can to lower my blood pressure (last measured 142/89) and resting heart rate (around 90-100bpm). Upon my move, my roommate and I will be doing these same things together; keeping each other accountable and in company while we work on ourselves.
I still sit here and go back and forth between "Do I want to shoot for the muscle mommy or the thicc goth body?", but realistically, I can't do this for aesthetic. My appearance doesn't matter much as long as I am femme passing. I want to FEEL good. I want to be healthy. So, as such, my goal is going to be cardiovascular health. To target this in a goal oriented manner, I am going to train myself to bike 10 miles. I will also focus a bit on boxing training so as to keep my strength high as well.
That's where I'm at now. I hope my progress is smooth
Mental Health
Here's where I'm kinda tired of it all. Can I just say, "FUCK social media."?
Listen, every time I open one of these apps, I am there for an hour or more scrolling...scrolling...scrolling...and my brain feels melted by the end of it. I almost always see some shit I wish I never saw. The monolith that is modern social media is DISGUSTING. Fuck that.
I made this site so that I could get away from the micro blogging, no nuance, no thinking, blah blah "I have to fight everyone about everything I don't know anything about so I feel like I have something to say". What is the point??? Here I am updating this thing like once a week. I have to do better.
I've deleted all social media apps from my phone besides FaceBook (I only use it for marketplace, so it's a non-issue app). I have signed up for a cool forum at Reject Convenience, which is made by a YouTube creator I think is neat (They will come up later too). And I am making my blog my second bookmark on my toolbar.
Now, in the future I have a plan I want to play out. In a recent video, Reject Convenience did a 2 year update on using a "dumb phone" rather than the average iPhone or Android smartphone. I have considered doing this in the past, but I do NOT like the design of the current dumbphones. The flip phones suck, the Punkt and Light Phone look horrid to use. I am honest hoping that one day soon we get something that harks back to the LG Neon, or similar qwerty sliding phones. They were a joy to text on, which is most of my communication. If I can find one of these in the future, I will pick it up immediately.
The reason for this plan is that, despite my best efforts, the smartphone is designed specifically to be a consumption device now, and less of a tool. It's designed to pull you in and hold you there, scrolling and feeding data into an algorithm while feeding ad revenue to companies. It's toxic and it sucks. I have really bad ADHD, so this tactic based on rapid fire dopamine content pumps?...It works way too well on me.
I've already ditched Spotify months ago in favor of owning my own music. I've also started grabbing some physical copies of movies and a VHS/DVD combo player. I'm slowly disconnecting from the enshitification of the internet. But, the pain point that dwells so hard on my mental health has always been social media, so I am glad that I've finally made the attempt to purge that trash out of my brain.
I think about the way short form content has fried our ability to absord complex thoughts. We have to TLDR anything that's more than 120 characters. No one wants to read, no one wants to listen, no one wants the full story, just what makes them feel like they're smarter or winning some arbitrary argument. We're devolving as a society. Rapidly. I hope more people start to realize that.
So, TLDR? : There isn't one, small brain. Read the fucking post.
The dude abides ♡